Sunday, May 29, 2011

What's in a Name?

Christopher Connor Allen. 

I named my oldest son after my cousin, Christopher Allen Dutton.  12 years ago when I was pregnant with Connor, I asked my Aunt Vic if it would be okay to name my baby Christopher if it was a boy.  I told her that we would call the baby Connor, but I wanted him to have the name. 

Chris was a huge chunk of my heart.  We were born nine days apart, and we loved each other more like brother and sister than cousins.  When he drowned 15 years ago, my heart shattered into pieces, but I don't want to dwell on his physical absence....I prefer to explain why I feel his legacy lives on in my son.

Connor and I have always had a special bond, and I think a huge part of that is due to Chris.  When Connor was little, he didn't have a security blanket...he slept with a flannel shirt....Chris' shirt.  It kind of freaked me out at first that he chose that shirt of all things, but I loved the idea that he wanted THAT shirt.  I knew from that moment on that Chris would be with me every day through the presence of my son.

There are so many things I could write about Connor because I am a very proud mother who likes to brag on all her kids...his athleticisim, intelligence, and etc.  Yesterday he and I were sitting on the couch while I was writing, and I showed him my blog.  He said he would like to put something on my blog, and I told him to go for it.  This morning I woke up to find this entry:


Friendship is a way of life.  It soothes the human soul in a fire never extinguished.  It comes in many shapes and sizes.  It exists in people's homes, schools, and families.  We work together like family members helping in the kitchen.  To be a friend you have to be like a true friend.  You need a pack of wolves to not be a lone wolf.  Friendship needs to be in everyone's life.  Why not you?

I love it.  It is raw, young writing that can blossom as he grows.  I can't wait to see where this road leads.  And although Chris wasn't a writer, I am (however amateur it may be), and it brings tears to my eyes to see our hearts joined in Connor.


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